How to train your Assassin
by rivendellelve
Summary: Ever wanted to have your own assassin? This simple guide will help you deal with the most common problems concerning assassins.


Disclaimer: Assassin's Creed belongs to Ubisoft.

**How to train your assassin – a beginner's guide**

_If you're striving to raise and train a happy, healthy and well-adjusted assassin at home – this guide will help you._

**Bribe** – Be always sure to have some extra money set aside in case you need it to pay off some heralds or overly zealous guard. Also from time to time you may be required to pay bail money. As your assassin becomes more experienced these occurrences will considerably lessen. _See also: Cage, Witness_

**Cage** – Do not bother lock your assassin up. They'll simply break out. _See also: Cat flap, Bribe_

**Cat flap** – If you want your assassin to come and go as they please there is no need to leave the door unlocked. An open window is more than enough. Experienced assassins will come and go as they wish anyway. _See also: Cage_

**Colors** – Despite their tendencies to crawl through dirt and ancient graves, to jump into murky rivers and to cut open throats assassins like to dress in white. Since their activities tend to ruin more clothes than one would expect you should always keep some spare sets of clothing handy. If your assassin starts wearing black you can be almost certain that there are other assassins around. (And that he's the alpha of their pack.)

**Creed** – Do not mock the Creed. Seriously, the results won't be pretty.

**Crime** – Having an assassin will dramatically lower the crime rate in your neighborhood, better than any watchdog could do. (This, of course, does not include the crimes committed by your assassin.)

**Denial** – If questioned deny any knowledge (and more importantly involvement) of your assassin's actions.

**Dummies** – Assassins need targets to practice their skills. For the safety of your fellow citizen we suggest you set up some dummies to give your assassin the opportunity. Should the dummies disappear you will most likely find them hidden in haystacks or dumped into the river.

**Feathers** – Assassins love to collect the most random things. Be it feathers, flags, weapons, sparkling treasures or paintings. To keep your assassin happy and occupied just remember to take all the feathers next time you butcher a chicken and then spread them throughout your assassin's territory (preferably on top of high buildings or other ridiculous locations). Caution: If the feathers your assassin brings you are smeared with blood you might want to keep an eye open for wanted posters.

**Feeding** – While they can certainly take care of themselves, they do appreciate it if dinner is set aside for them.

**Guards** – Guards are (along with Templars, Borgia and slippery rooftops) an assassin's natural enemy. Usually your assassin will try to stay out of any guard's sight, if they are spotted, however, they tend to attack swiftly and viciously. If there are watchmen corpses decomposing on rooftops you should consider relocating your assassin to a guard-free environment.

**Guilds** – The same way wolves live in packs and Templars live in orders assassins live in guilds. While they may roam alone, in their natural environment assassins always return to their guild, their pack so to speak. For a species-appropriate husbandry we suggest you keep at least two assassins.

Contrary to popular belief having two assassins is actually less work, as your assassins will (under normal circumstances) look out for each other. _See also: Bribe, Guards, Trouble_

**Haystacks** – Assassins love to jump into haystacks and/or use them as hiding places. Make sure to have some inside your assassin's territory. Especially near towers. _See also: Heights_

**Heights** – An earthbound assassin is an unhappy assassin. Therefore they tend to climb high buildings. The higher the better, preferably towers of sorts. However, while they love to climb up, they hate to climb down again. Instead they rather leap off of whatever high building they just scaled. To ensure an assassin-friendly environment make sure there are haystacks nearby. _See also: Haystacks_

**Missing** – If your assassin is gone for a prolonged period of time don't bother hanging up posters. The wanted posters will appear on their own. If not, check the local dungeons. _See also: Bribe_

**Playground** – In our experience an ancient tomb is the ideal playground.

**Playmates** – Do not worry if your assassin mingles with courtesans, mercenaries and thieves. Free-living assassins live in symbiosis with the aforementioned groups. Therefore this behavior is completely natural and should be tolerated.

**Trouble** – Trouble is what your assassin will undoubtedly get into.

**Weapons** – They may not look like it but keep in mind that an assassin is always armed. (And even if they aren't they can always improvise.)

**Witness** – Witnesses have the tendencies to spontaneously disappear.

The End

A/N: Reviews make me happy (and you want me to be happy, right? Cause I have a hidden blade ^_^)


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